In what can only be described as the world’s most dramatic hospital discharge, a patient at Punxsutawney Hospital decided that traditional exits were for amateurs. Instead of politely walking through the door like a civilized human being, our protagonist channeled his inner Kool-Aid Man and literally smashed through a wall before sprinting naked into the Pennsylvania wilderness.
Because apparently when you’re in Punxsutawney—the same town where a groundhog predicts the weather and Bill Murray got stuck in a time loop—the only logical response to medical care is to go full Hulk on the architecture and embrace your birthday suit as outdoor attire.
One can only imagine the conversations happening in that hospital right now. “Did someone just…?” “Yep.” “Through the actual wall?” “Uh-huh.” “And he was…?” “Naked as the day he was born, running toward the treeline.”
The incident raises several pressing questions: Was this a planned escape route, or did he just really, really hate the hospital food? Did he at least yell “Oh yeah!” while bursting through the wall? And most importantly, is there now a person-shaped hole in the side of a Pennsylvania hospital that future patients might mistake for a very oddly placed window?
As of press time, the man’s whereabouts remain unknown, though local squirrels have reportedly filed noise complaints about aggressive rustling in the underbrush. Hospital staff are presumably reviewing their wall reinforcement policies and perhaps investing in some stronger gowns.
Here’s hoping our wall-smashing friend finds his way to safety—and some pants.
Original story via Reddit Not The Onion