In a legal defense strategy that would make even the most creative lawyers put down their briefcases and slow-clap, a Virginia man pulled over in Manassas for driving nearly 50 mph over the speed limit has placed the blame squarely where it belongs: on McDonald’s breakfast.
The unnamed speed enthusiast, apparently possessed by the unholy spirit of an Egg McMuffin, was clocked at a velocity that suggests he either had somewhere incredibly important to be or genuinely believed his vehicle had entered some kind of fast food-induced turbo mode. At roughly 50 mph over the posted limit, he wasn’t just bending traffic laws — he was folding them into origami cranes and flinging them out the window.
The defense, which legal scholars are already calling the ‘Grimace Defense,’ hinges on the apparently unstoppable urgency that only a McDonald’s breakfast can create. And honestly? We’ve all been there. The siren call of hash browns and hot cakes does possess a certain gravitational pull. But most of us manage to feel that pull while remaining, broadly speaking, within the bounds of posted speed limits.
Authorities in Manassas, Virginia, were reportedly unmoved by the culinary alibi, suggesting that neither the McGriddle nor its crispy potato companions legally constitute grounds for highway-speed recklessness. The officer who made the stop has not publicly commented on whether they also craved a breakfast sandwich afterward.
The case raises important philosophical questions for our time: If a breakfast sandwich is powerful enough to override a grown adult’s decision-making, should it carry a warning label? Should drive-throughs have speed governors installed in the exit lane? And most pressingly — was it at least a good breakfast?
McDonald’s has not issued a statement, but their lawyers are presumably eating a very calm, reasonable breakfast this morning. At the speed limit.
*Source: WJLA News / Reddit r/offbeat*
Original story via Reddit Offbeat
