In what may be the most committed bathroom break in automotive history, a Texas driver made the bold executive decision to use his vehicle as a battering ram against a Kroger supermarket — all in the name of answering nature’s most urgent call.
Rosenberg Police Department confirmed that the driver intentionally crashed into the grocery store with the singular, laser-focused mission of accessing a restroom. Not to rob the place. Not in a fit of grocery-related rage. Just… to use the bathroom. The dedication to personal hygiene and bodily relief on display here is frankly something most of us could aspire to, if perhaps through slightly different methods.
One has to admire — or at least acknowledge — the commitment. Most people in a bathroom emergency might frantically Google ‘nearest public restroom,’ desperately scan for a McDonald’s, or perform the universal ‘please hold on’ shuffle. This gentleman apparently looked at the Kroger, looked at his car, performed some kind of impromptu cost-benefit analysis, and thought: ‘Yes. This is the move.’
It remains deliciously unclear why conventional entry through Kroger’s perfectly functional automatic doors didn’t factor into the plan. Perhaps they were locked. Perhaps time was simply of the essence. Perhaps this man operates on a different strategic frequency than the rest of us.
Rosenberg, Texas will never look at its grocery stores — or its parking lots — quite the same way again. And somewhere out there, a Kroger employee is writing what will undoubtedly be the most interesting incident report of their career.
The suspect was taken into custody, presumably after his pitstop.
Source: ABC13
Original story via Reddit Offbeat
