In a move that legal experts are calling ‘bold,’ wildlife advocates are calling ‘illegal,’ and the geese themselves are calling ‘HONK,’ a homeowners association has voted to euthanize hundreds of Canada geese residing in their neighborhood — a bird that happens to enjoy the full protective embrace of the United States federal government.
The HOA, apparently unbothered by the existence of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, gathered in what one can only imagine was a very tense cul-de-sac meeting to greenlight the elimination of a flock that has clearly overstayed its welcome on the community’s pristine common areas. One can hardly blame them — Canada geese are, objectively speaking, tiny feathered chaos agents who treat every manicured lawn like a personal buffet and every walking path like their own exclusive restroom facility.
However, there’s a small wrinkle in the HOA’s otherwise airtight plan: Canada geese are protected under federal law, meaning you cannot simply vote them into oblivion the way you might vote to ban purple front doors or above-ground pools. The federal government requires special permits for any goose population control measures, and ‘we had a quorum at the Tuesday meeting’ is not, in fact, one of the approved justifications.
This creates a delightful David vs. Goliath situation, except David is a subdivision with strong feelings about goose droppings, Goliath is the entire apparatus of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, and the geese are just standing there honking aggressively at both parties.
Legal non-lethal alternatives do exist — things like habitat modification, trained goose-deterrent dogs, and simply accepting one’s waterfowl neighbors with quiet dignity — but apparently the HOA has opted for the more dramatic route first.
As of now, the geese remain very much alive, very much federally protected, and almost certainly plotting their next move on somebody’s freshly sealed driveway.
*Source: Action News 5, via Reddit r/offbeat*
Original story via Reddit Offbeat
