Move over, shapewear. It turns out the most figure-sculpting thing stuffed inside a recent Kim Kardashian SKIMS shipment wasn’t spandex — it was approximately $93 million worth of cocaine.
UK police, who apparently have a very different definition of ‘unboxing experience,’ intercepted a shipment of the celebrity mogul’s wildly popular underwear brand and discovered it had been loaded up with rather more than the advertised stretch cotton blend. Investigators found the massive haul of narcotics cleverly concealed within the garments, making it arguably the most expensive underwear delivery in British customs history.
Now, to be absolutely crystal clear: SKIMS, Kim Kardashian, and anyone actually associated with the brand had absolutely nothing to do with this. The smugglers simply chose a recognizable, high-volume clothing brand as their camouflage of choice — which, in a backhanded way, is almost a testament to how ubiquitous SKIMS has become. Nothing says ‘blend in’ quite like the world’s most-discussed shapewear.
Authorities haven’t yet disclosed exactly how the drugs were packaged within the shipment, but one imagines the ‘smoothing’ and ‘contouring’ descriptions on the packaging took on a whole new meaning during the inspection process.
The bust represents one of the larger cocaine seizures in recent UK memory, and police are continuing their investigation into who exactly thought that hiding a nine-figure drug shipment inside celebrity underwear was, shall we say, a killer business strategy.
Kim Kardashian’s PR team has not responded, though they are presumably having a very long Tuesday.
*Source: CTV News, via Reddit r/nottheonion*
Original story via Reddit Not The Onion
